In Your Eyes
by sUmMeRiTh
Summary: And if he ever was close enough to her to see into her eyes, it was like a whole book sitting there waiting for him to read. He was the only one who had the ability to do that, yet he was probably the only guy she wanted to stay the hell away from.
1. Secretly Falling Apart

A/N: Okay… So this idea kinda just came to me, it's a three-part with the first chapter being Seth's POV, second being Summer's, and third being an ending or whatever. Kind of a song-fic – each chapter is kind of based around a song. Or, I think the song is based on the chapter and characters, but the songs came out first so I guess that doesn't work. Kind of obviously, this is a S/S fic. Set after Cotillion ('The Debut'). First chapter's in the Crab Shack. I have no idea where Ryan is. He could be working or at the Cohen's, or wherever. Dream him into whatever little situation you feel comfortable with ;). I'm not sure if any other characters (Ryan, Marissa, etc) will appear. I guess they will. Okay, so I'll shut up now and let you read. Continue.

Disclaimer – I don't own The OC, Seth, Summer, or any additional characters. This is fan fiction people! Unless Josh Schwartz has registered and is anonymously writing fanfics, which I kind of doubt, then no one here owns the OC. Why bother with the disclaimers? We're just stating the obvious. By the way, I don't own Aqualung, Savage Garden, or Brian McKnight, either. The most I own is a thousand CDs and MP3 files, 50 OC posters, a couple of magazine articles and stickers, 300 pictures saved on my computer, three videos full of The OC episodes, The OC Season 1 DVD's, and whatever I can access on the internet. And a bunch of fanfic's. I own those because they came from my brain. Yay! But I don't own the characters. And round and round we go. I wish I owned Adam Brody, but sadly, I don't, so I'm getting on with my life and this story.

**Chapter One - Secretly Falling Apart**

Seth Cohen sat at a table in the Crab Shack, but he wasn't eating. He felt sick to his stomach. And not the kind of 'ohhh I'm sick I cant go to school' sick, more like the feeling he got when he saw Summer Roberts flirting with other guys. Jealousy-sick.

She was sitting a few tables away from him, surrounded by Holly, Marissa, and the usual gaggle of popular wanna-be's. Although he probably shouldn't say that about Marissa, coz she'd seemed pretty okay lately. Which was surprising and weird.

Anyway… Summer was surrounded by the wannabe girls, and buffed up water polo, soccer-playing guys. Seth slumped down in his seat. His wished Ryan were here, or at least that Anna chick from Cotillion – it'd be nice to have another friend. Seth looked over at Summer and Marissa again. Luke was with them, too. Seth felt really bad for Marissa; he didn't know how she could be all smiles and happiness while all this shit was happening with her family. That was when he realised it was a fake happiness. Marissa had her fake smiles, just like Summer did. What fake lives these people had. And Seth was glad he didn't feel the need to smile all the time. He had no one to pretend to. He looked at Summer again. She was so beautiful. It was odd – he knew all this stuff about her, her family, her friends, her school stuff, her life – and the only thing she knew about him was that he ditched her at Cotillion.

Why had he done that anyway?

Oh, right. _Confidence_. Ha. What a joke. And not a very funny one, either. Why did he do what Anna said? Why trust Anna, anyway?

He kept staring at Summer. Summer the Princess, Summer the Queen, Summer the Goddess. Seth the stalker, he thought, shaking his head but still looking at her. She really was so beautiful. But she was strange, too. She cared about what her 'friends' thought, yet they obviously weren't true friends and she bitched about them just as much as they talked shit about her. And besides that, he'd been watching her for years, and he knew as much about her as – possibly more than – anyone else, including Marissa, did. He'd learnt the fake smiles, and all her mannerisms. He knew her past. He knew when she was upset. And if he ever was close enough to her to see into her eyes, it was like a whole book sitting there waiting for him to read, a book only for him. Because he was the only one who had the ability to do that, yet he was probably the only guy she wanted to stay the hell away from. But what made her strange was that he knew there was a whole different person inside her, yearning to escape. To break free of the fake smiles and cold eyes and feel. But Seth knew why Summer had kept herself locked away. She was scared. Scared of so many things. And any one else would have doubted it and laughed in his face but he _knew_. And so he kept watching her.

_I've been watching your world from afar_

_I've been trying to be where you are_

And I've been secretly falling apart 

It was moronic, the way he felt about her. Crazy. Stupid. Insane. Unstoppable. But for the first time in his life he thought maybe he might get a chance with her. His best friend was slowly getting together with her best friend. And _Seth_ was getting to know her best friend. For the first time ever, he was involved with her things and was actually kind of welcome. He shook his head. _There was no way._ Because even though he could see how perfect they'd be together, she couldn't.

One of the things that killed him was the whole "ew" factor. And the fact that she'd hook up with so many random rich guys but not him, not ever. And everyone noticed her but she didn't ever notice the person who cared about her possibly more than anyone else ever could. Strange, and definitely beautiful.

_To me, you're strange and you're beautiful…_

_You'd be so perfect with me but you just cant see_

_You turn every head but you don't see me_

He had sometimes thought that there was nothing he wanted more than to fall asleep with her, wake up the next day and for her to say she loved him. But what he would love more would be if she let herself out. Let her true self escape the prison that her body had become. Because he knew her true self was even more beautiful than her body, and he wished she'd give them both – Seth and her true self – a chance.

_I'll put a spell on you_

_You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you_

_And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see_

_And you'll realise that you love me_

He shifted in his seat. She was looking at him. And Holly, the blonde bimbo Barbie, was giggling. God, he was sick of Holly. All these years there is only so long you can know a person like Holly. She was so annoying. He wondered when Summer or Marissa would finally come to their senses and ditch her. Probably the same day he got a chance with Summer. Neither were very likely.

_Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first_

The last thing he wanted was her to hate or ignore him. Well, it was a bit late for that, especially since he was an Emo dork who was often bashed up by her buddies and ex-boyfriends.

_Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes…_

The first, and nearly only, thing he wanted was her.

_And I know, the waiting is all you can do_

_Sometimes…_

But he'd waited just about half his life, and it was seeming impossible. And waiting for it had turned him pretty depressed. Until Ryan came. Ryan came, and changed everything. Everyone. Maybe that could change Summer enough to make her let go of her armour also known as her body…

_I'll put a spell on you_

_You'll fall asleep_

Who was he kidding? There was no way.

Then he realised he was _still_ staring at Summer. He was only shaken out of his dazed stupor when he realized she was headed towards him looking really pissed off. Oh, shit.

"Cohen!" she said loudly. "What the hell are you looking at?"

"N-othing," he gulped. What was it? _Confidence._ Right.

"Yeah, bullshit. Holly says you've been staring at me, for, like, twenty minutes." Summer sat down opposite him at the table. Her friends couldn't see her anymore, Seth noted. She was out of sight, out of hearing.

"Well, I wonder why was Holly looking at me for twenty minutes?" Seth mused, faking distraction,

"Ooh, maybe she's stalking me. Do you think she _likes_ me?" he asked sarcastically with fake-eagerness.

"We both know that the only real stalker here is you, Cohen! Why the hell where you looking at me for so long?"

"Definitely strange…" Seth murmured, "but definitely beautiful."

"What?" Summer snapped. She'd heard him, and she felt like smacking him, because he was making her feel… something. God damn him. What the hell was he talking about? Why did she even care?

_I'll put a spell on you_

_And when I wake you I'll be the first thing you see_

"What?" he echoed. He thought he'd said that in his head.

"You said –"

"I didn't mean anything," he muttered. "Sorry for glancing your way, Summer, it will never ever ever happen again."

She stifled a smile, and he grinned. He'd made her smile, and not a fake smile either. But it was gone in a second, "It was an pretty long glance, Cohen. But whatever."

_And you'll realise that you love me_

"Hey, Summer –" he said as she stood up to walk away. She slowly turned back and looked at him.

"What are you doing this weekend?"

She sucked in a breath, "Coop's organized this dance thing. In a hall. It's this big… thing. So… I'm going to that." She narrowed her eyes, "Why?"

He shrugged, "No reason. Just interested. I thought your social calendar would be filled up with booty call dates and rocking coke parties."

"Well, you thought wrong," she snapped, and started to turn, "And if I ever catch you staring at me again, I will gouge out your eyeballs and hit them off a tee with a golf club." She spun around, her short, short skirt twirling. Seth's eyes zeroed in on her ass before he could help himself, then he added,

"I doubt you can play golf, Summer."

"Don't even try me, _freak_," she said over her shoulder, walking back to her 'friends'.

Seth stood up. This was getting old. He thought _maybe_ he was getting somewhere, but then she had to go with the threats and the 'freak'. Maybe he shouldn't have said that remark about booty calls and cocaine parties. But it was _true_.

She was looking at him again, but this time he knew they were talking about him. Making fun of him. Yet again. And he could tell she was upset because although she was laughing, it was a fake laugh, she was biting her lip, and her eyes were full of… upset-ness. Why did he care so much? Seth rubbed his forehead, grabbed his bag, and walked away.

_I'll put a spell on you_

_You'll fall asleep coz I'll put a spell on you_

_And when I wake you _

_I'll be the first thing you see_

_And you'll realise that you love me, yeah…_

Aqualung Strange And Beautiful


	2. Justifying The Hurt Inside

A/N: Okay… I don't really like the first chapter, it came out differently then I'd expected. But overall it's okay. This is Summer's POV. I like it better; coz I like Summer better. She's easier to write – I get her. Any who… Her stepmom's throwing some Newpsie dinner party thing, and Summer's just hanging around. Thinking. And, seriously, read the lyrics coz I think that just about every line relates to Summer in a way (or at least the Summer in this story), which is really weird. I didn't even like the song til I figured that out. Savage Garden are like, so... Meh. But they have good lyrics. Oh, also, I didn't know what Sum's stepmother's name was, so I randomly picked one.

Also—I know I'm not really making Summer a bitch in this… I want to, kind of… but I can't do it. So, she's kind of out of character. I think what I'm trying to do is show that Seth makes her less of a bitch. And I know that all this happens in a short period of time but I only wanted it to go for three chapters, and I knew they'd be short. I wanted to see if I could do a short one.

By the way – Chapter 1 is on a Friday, Chapter 2 is Friday night, Chapter 3 will be Saturday. At the dance thing. And, I dont really do ratings, but this swears... a few times. So did the last chapter, sort of. So, sorry.

Disclaimer: Again, I own neither The OC nor Savage Garden, I am not married or related in any way to Josh Schwartz so I have nearly no chance of inheriting the OC (unless I can win it in a contest or somehow buy it off e-bay. I highly doubt that'll happen). Which is a serious bummer. And I also don't own Aqualung or Brian McKnight. Or Summer, Seth, or any other characters. If I did, I sincerely disbelieve I would be sitting here in my PJ's writing a fanfic about them. So, now that we've gotten that cleared up, on with the story.

**Chapter Two – Justifying The Hurt Inside**

Summer walked into the hall where her stepmother was hosting some massive Newpsie dinner/party/event, clicking her Marc Jacobs heels. Her stepmother, Lydia, had actually been sober when she'd planned it. And off the pills, for at least a few hours. Amazing.

Lydia had been ecstatic about this event, thinking that the Newpsies viewed her as an equal. Gasp! What an accomplishment. Summer rolled her eyes at the thought. Back when her mom was around, Summer had wanted to be a Newpsie. But now, although it still seemed fun and interesting, she wasn't all that into it, because she had bigger things to think about.

Like the awesome party at Holly's place that she was missing out on.

And instead of being there, she was here, because Lydia had wanted to introduce her to Newport society. Well, duh, she'd only been living here her whole life! But Lydia had insisted that this was her future.

Summer pouted, thinking of all her friends having fun without her. Well, except Whitney Caborelle. Summer didn't care about _that_ bitch. She had made up another bunch of rumors about Summer. Again. In fact, Summer didn't particularly care for any of her 'friends'. They were all fake, phoney, disloyal liars. Well, most of them. She loved Coop like a sister, held a tolerance for Luke and Holly, and accepted a few of the semi-decent friends that Luke had. But most of them? Tryhard bitching idiotic drug addicts.

She sat down at one of the tables that were set up. Hardly anyone was there yet and Summer couldn't see Lydia any where. She tapped her nails on the table, again thinking of the party. She wondered what Holly was up to. Probably snorting coke with Whitney. Then it hit her, _rocking coke parties_. That's what he'd said. Cohen. And he was right. Had he gone to Holly's?

_No,_ she chastised herself, _why would he? No one wants him there. And why do I care anyway?_

Yeah, but Coop had probably brought the bad boy from Chino, and Chino boy had probably brought Cohen. Maybe. But it was a long shot.

_Eww. Chino._ She shook her head, disbelieving the plays she'd made for him since he'd been here. _How freaking stupid. Eww. Well, anyway, he's so into Coop. I think. So I'm over him. And Cohen, God, hello, dork, I cant even think about him, besides, Cotillion anyone? Why did he choose that Pittsburgh geek over me? Because they're both geeks. Losers._

She balled her fists and dug her nails in the palms of her hands. She pushed really hard, then opened her hands. No blood, but there were tiny scratch marks.

Summer rolled her eyes and looked around for Lydia. There was _no one_ here except for a few loner Newpsies, and some work crew. Oh, and Julie Cooper. Summer was just about to go over to her best friend's mom when she noticed Kirsten Cohen standing next to her. Summer sank back in her seat, and turned away. _Kirsten Cohen_. She couldn't talk to her, she'd feel too guilty. And besides, what kind of a conversation could she have with Julie Cooper?

Summer pulled her cell out of her purse and with a manicured fingernail pressed down '2'. The speed dial rang Marissa's cell and someone picked up, giggling.

"Hi?" Summer asked, wrinkling her nose. "Who the hell is this and why have you got Coop's phone?"

"Hey, Sum," Holly giggled.

"Oh, hey Holls. Is Coop there?"

"Uh huh," Holly giggled some more. She was obviously high on something. "I wish you were here, Sum. Cooper just isn't into partying tonight. It's okay though, coz Luke is." She giggled again.

Summer thought she might just ignore that, when she heard Luke's (drunk) voice say, "Who is it, babe?" and Holly squeak, "Summer, babe." Then she heard them kissing.

Summer squeezed her eyes shut. "Holly, put Coop on the phone." She said sharply.

Holly giggled again. Summer was getting fed up.

"Ooh, Luke, that tickles…" Holly tittered.

"Holly!" Summer growled.

"Oh, yeah. Marissa. Hey, Luke baby, just wait a sec, I gotta give the phone to Coop."

"Who?" Summer heard Luke say thickly.

Aaauuurgh! Summer clenched her free hand into a fist. "Holly." She said as she heard Holly shifting through the crowd.

"Mm hmm?" Holly asked distractedly.

"What the hell are you and Luke doing?"

No more giggles. "Nothing, babes. It was nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing. It sounded like you were at least kissing him. What else, huh? Blow job? Handy? He go down on you?"

"I wasn't – we weren't, okay? Nothing happened." Holly's voice grew angry, "What do you think I am, Summer, some kind of slut?"

_Yes, I do,_ Summer thought, but she said nothing. "You sure act like one," Summer hissed. "He's _Coop's boyfriend_, Holly!"

"I wouldn't do that to Marissa," Holly whined. "I'm a good friend, Summer!"

"Hey Holls… Is Summer on the phone?" Summer heard Marissa's voice.

"Yeah, it's your cell, Cooper. Here ya go," she said before muttering to Summer. "It was nothing, Sum, _nothing_."

"Hey Summer!" Marissa said happily.

"Hey Coop," Summer said, trying to fake it.

"What's up?" Marissa asked, noticing her tone.

"Nothing, its uh, its boring here. I can see your mom, though –"

"I feel sorry for you," Marissa cut in.

"- And Kirsten Cohen. Uh, speaking of which, did you bring the Chino boy to Holly's?"

"Yeah," Summer heard Marissa's smile.

"Ooh, Coo-oop, something's goin on there," Summer smiled.

"No, it's not," Marissa said quickly. A little too quick.

"Whatever. Is Cohen there?"

"Uh huh."

"Is he, like, wasted? Is he hooking up with that Pittsburgh freak?"

"No, he's not trashed. He's barely had one drink. And, you mean Anna? She's not here. She's in, like, Tahiti. Anyway why do you care?"

"I don't," Summer said quickly. A little too quick. Then she heard him.

"Hey, Marissa… How much longer do we have to stay here for? This what you guys do for fun? Coz it's sooo boring."

"Typical," Summer scoffed, "There aren't any comic books or crappy music is why."

"Hey, his music isn't that bad," Marissa defended and Summer cocked an eyebrow.

"Is that Summer?" she heard Cohen ask. How did he know?

"Yeah." Marissa said nonchalantly, "You wanna talk to her?"

"No!" Summer cried.

"Nah, she hates me. Besides, she couldn't possibly talk to a dork like me. Never."

Summer felt ashamed instantly, then mentally kicked herself. She did not feel ashamed. This was _Seth Cohen_.

"Oh, no, it's, um –" Marissa stuttered to Cohen. "Uh… Seth, we can leave if you want. I don't mind."

"Okay," Summer heard Seth sigh, "I'll go get Ryan. Um, Marissa… Could you tell her I said hi?" he asked shyly, then Summer assumed he'd walked off because Coop said shortly, "Seth said hi."

Summer grinned, then lost her smile. Her real smile. She never smiled like that.

"Why does he think you hate him?"

"I don't know," Summer said shortly. "Maybe because he's trapped in his own world of like, comic books and whiney music anddorks from Pittsburgh."

"Um, okay." Marissa said sheepishly. "Cut him some slack, Sum. He's really a nice –"

"So, what are you gonna do now?" Summer cut her off. She didn't need to know how nice Seth Cohen was. She didn't need to know anything about him.

"Go home and pass out from boredom?" Marissa suggested. "Or, uh, from intoxication."

"Make out with Chino in the poolhouse?"

"Ryan, his name is Ryan."

"Ohh, so you _will_?"

"No." Marissa said shortly. "Look, I've got to go. They're waiting for me."

"Ever heard of walking and talking?"

"Ha ha," Marissa said sarcastically.

"Coop – before you go – Luke was –"

"I don't want to hear anything about Luke." Marissa said coldly.

What? Oh right, they'd kind of broken up over Cotillion. Kind of.

"You guys gonna get back together?" Summer asked softly, in a voice reserved only for Coop.

"Honestly, Sum, I have no idea. I really gotta go now, but I'll send Seth your love." Marissa joked.

"I have absolutely no love for Cohen. Not now or ever."

"Okay, Summer, I get it. See you." Marissa clicked off her phone. Summer sighed. Marissa was pissed off. Why? Was Cohen suddenly, like, her best friend now?

Summer buried her face in her hands, with her elbows leaning on the table. Marissa was gone. She had so many problems – her dad, her mom, Luke, Holly, Ryan. And Summer was just adding to them. _She has no room to love me,_ Summer thought numbly.

_Who_ does _love me?_ She asked herself. _Mom, nope. Daddy, well maybe when he's not overseas which is every day, every month. Lydia, why bother asking. Coop, well, I'd thought so. But she has so many problems. Cohen – WHY IS COHEN ON THE LIST? He's kind of, ew. And he doesn't even like me. He ditched me at Cotillion. And he said all I do is make booty calls and snort cocaine. Excuse me, I have never even tried coke. And the booty calls – not really. So he can go screw himself. _

_And everyone wonders why I'm a fucking bitch. I have no one._

"Summer! You made it!" Summer lifted her head up to see Lydia rushing towards her. "Hi, sweetie! There are so many people you just _have_ to meet!"

Summer looked around the room. It had quickly filled, and she hadn't even noticed. Yep, there were Julie and Kirsten, Kirsten looked bored and Julie looked like there was nothing she'd like more than to strangle Kirsten. Summer wondered why. How could anyone hate Kirsten Cohen?

Summer sighed as Lydia introduced her to the twelfth Newpsie. "Hi, Tarryn. It's great to meet you." Summer said wearily. Lydia shot her a look and she instantly perked up, "You look beautiful! I love your necklace!"

"Thank you," Tarryn said vainly.

"And, wow. You have gorgeous hair," Summer lied. "Are those highlights natural?"

"Maybe we'll talk to you later, Tarryn," Lydia interrupted. She was all smiles as she dragged a fake-smiling Summer over to a blonde and a reddy-brunette.

"Hello, Lydia," the blonde smiled warmly as she saw them coming. Summer's heart sank.

"Hello," Lydia grinned. "Summer, this is –"

"Hi Mrs Cooper. Mrs Cohen." Summer said sadly.

"- Julie and Kirsten," Lydia finished. "You know them?"

"Mrs Cooper is my best friend's mom. And Mrs Cohen is Seth's mom." Summer could have kicked herself for saying that.

"Okay," Lydia said nonchalantly. "Summer, I'll be back in a little while. Uh – nice to see you Kirsten, Julie." She scurried off towards the bar. Summer sighed, frustrated and annoyed.

"Having fun, Summer?" Julie asked. "Where's Maris tonight?"

"She's over Holly's," Summer said. "And, nope, I'm not having anything remote to fun. Uh – no offense."

"You feel like you're on show, right?" Kirsten asked kindly.

"Uh huh." Summer bit her lip. "I so did not want to come to this."

"Me neither," Kirsten admitted. "So – do you know Seth?" she looked confused.

"Yeah," Summer said slowly. "He's um, well, I've met him. Me and Seth were supposed to go together for Cotillion, but he ditched me." After I ditched him, Summer thought.

"Oh," Kirsten looked puzzled, "I'm sorry, sweetie."

Summer shrugged, "Add it to the long list of people who have disappointed me." She realized what she'd said, and quickly muttered, "I gotta ring Coop, I'll see you guys later," before running over to the bathroom, looking back to see Kirsten and Julie exchange looks.

A few hours later, she was sitting the circle of the highest Newpsies, next to Julie Cooper, who was next to Kirsten. Kirsten, again, looked bored. Julie looked stuck-up and half drunk. All these Newpsies – they all knew Summer. They all knew her past. And whenever the topic turned to her, she lied. She lied about _everything_. Convincing people she had true friends, a boyfriend, and some semblance of a good family life, was pretty damn easy. But she couldn't lie to herself. She had no one. She was hurting. And what were the reasons? Mom: scared of commitment. Daddy: workaholic. Coop: too many problems. Lydia: drugged up. Cohen: was Cohen. God damn it. Why had he made the cut _again_?

_She's taking her time making up the reasons_

_To justify all the hurt inside_

They'd just been talking about her. They'd asked where her father was tonight. Where he had had been at any and every important function to date. And the answer was 'working', 'with a client' or 'on holiday'. And all of these Newpsies rested on the truth somehow. That he was never there. And they all looked at her sympathetically, even Kirsten Cohen and Julie Cooper. But she knew they thought she was a whore and a bitch. And Summer wanted to be sick. Or at least get the hell out of there.

_Guess she knows, from the smiles_

_And the look in their eyes_

_Everyone's got a theory bout the bitter one_

She let the Newpsies get back to their gossiping. She got up and walked away, out into the hall where she sat by herself. And she knew they were talking about the poor neglected dark haired girl, who used bitchiness as a cover up and acted like a skank.

_They're saying_

_Mama never loved her much and_

_Daddy never keeps in touch_

_That's why she shies away from human affection_

Summer stood up and went outside. She was fed up with the Newpsies making gestations that she was treated like shit by everyone. That her life was sucky – pointless. She didn't need them to do it when she'd landed on that fact years ago. She got her keys from the valet, got in her car and started it up.

_But somewhere in a private place_

_She packs her bags for outer space_

_And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come_

She drove as fast as she could, wanting nothing more than to be at home.

_And she'll say to him_

_She's saying_

_I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be_

_If you'll be my baby_

_I've got a ticket for a world where we'll belong _

_So would you be my baby?_

When was the last time Coop needed me? The question flashed through her mind. When was the last time anyone loved me? Hell, when was the last time I loved anyone? I don't. I don't love, I don't feel. And no one feels for me. Except Cohen, maybe. Huh, yeah, right. But that doesn't work, because, he's a loser. And I'm Summer Roberts. And my friends – my friends. I don't have any friends. They're all lying, slutty, cheating whores or lying, sex-obsessed, cheating jerks. They're disloyal. They're vindictive. They're addicted to drugs and alcohol and sex. And deep inside me, I'm not.

_She can't remember a time when she felt needed_

_If love was red then she was colorblind_

_All her friends, they've been tried for treason_

_And crimes that were never defined_

So, my friends don't love me. No guy has ever loved me. My family doesn't love me. And I don't love anyone. Love is fucking foreign to me. Bleak, distant, futile, depressing.

_She's saying_

_Love is like a barren place and_

_Reaching out for human faith is_

_Is like a journey I just don't have a map for_

Summer pulled up at her house. She stopped the car, got out, and looked up at the sky. It just seemed so easy up there. What was the point of being here? She had no hope, nothing to hope for. No one to depend on… Except maybe Cohen.

_So baby's gonna take a dive and_

_Push the shift in overdrive_

_Send a signal that she's hanging all her hopes on the stars_

_What a pleasant dream…_

Cohen? She asked herself. Ew. But the real, true, her mentally slapped herself and screamed, 'Wake up, you hypocritical bitch…'

_Just saying_

_I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be_

_If you'll be my baby_

_I've got a ticket for a world where we will belong_

_So would you be my baby?_

Summer sighed. She was going crazy. She let herself in and ran up the stairs, and flung herself onto her bed, her body convulsing in sobs as she shook them out. She never cried. But now there was more of a reason to than ever before. She had no one.

_Hold on_

_Hold on_

She sat up, sniffling. She had to ring her stepmother, tell her she'd come home. But Lydia had left her cell at home. Who else was there? Kirsten. Summer sighed. She'd have to ring Cohen to get his mother's phone number.

Her face still streaked with tears, her body still shaking, she reached for her purse, and taking the cell phone out she searched through her phone book. She went past 'Daddy' and felt the tears fall again.

_Mama never loved her much and_

_Daddy never keeps in touch_

_That's why she shies away from human affection_

She wiped the tears and found 'the Cohen home'. Summer grabbed the house phone in her bedroom and dialled the number. As it rang she looked at the time. 11:01. _Oh please, please Cohen, be home,_ she prayed.

_But somewhere in a private place_

_She packs her bag for outer space_

_And now she's waiting for the_

"Hello?" Seth said, his voice thick and groggy.

_Right kind of pilot to come…_

"Hey," Summer choked out tearfully, her voice breaking.

"Summer?" he said straight away, and she was startled, first by the fact that he could tell it was her even when she was upset and she'd only said one word. It wasn't like she talked to him much. Second, because he'd sounded so happy to hear from her. "Summer, wow. Wow, hi. Hi, what's wrong?" The tears started again, but this time they were silent. _I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch, I'm such a bitch,_ Summer thought tearfully.

"Hi Cohen," she said, struggling to keep her voice balanced as the tears sliding down her cheeks and past her lips.

"Summer, what's wrong? Are you – are you crying?"

"No." she said shortly. How did he know? Not even Coop would be able to tell. She'd only said three words.

"You are," he said softly. "What's wrong? Do you want me to come over?"

"No!" she cried. "I'm fine, okay! I just want your mom's cell number."

"Uh – okay," he said, sounding unconvinced and confused, but overall disappointed. Still he gave her the number.

"Good bye, Cohen," she said coldly.

"Uh, see ya Sum," he said gently, and more of her tears fell. "Feel better, okay? Um – bye."

She thought frantically, _he's about to go,_ and yelled, "Cohen! Don't hang up!" hoping he'd hear her.

"What? Are you okay?"

"No," she sniffled. "No. I'm not. I have – I have no one."

"You have me."

"How? You, like, ditch me on Cotillion –"

"You dumped me first."

"So not helping! And you call me a coke whore today –"

"That's not what I meant."

"And I – I – I'm a bitch to you." She sighed, then realized who she was talking to. "God. God, Cohen, I've got to go."

"Okay, just, Sum?" he sounded bewildered. "Promise me you'll be okay?"

"Jesus, Cohen, I'm not gonna go drown myself in the bathtub!"

"Okay, good. And you do realize you just called me God _and_ Jesus?"

"No, I didn't," Summer sighed impatiently.

"Okay. Summer? Please don't – don't – don't hurt yourself. Don't do anything. I – I don't want you to –"

"Seth." She said, trying to be gentle, while thinking he was crazy. "I am not gonna kill myself, okay?"

"Okay." He took a deep breath. "It's just, I need you."

_I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be_

_If you'll be my baby_

_I've got a ticket for a world where we'll belong_

_So would you be my baby, yeahhh_

She smiled softly. "You need me? You barely know me."

"I need to see you. At least once a week. If I couldn't do that – if you weren't around – I'd go crazy. And I know you better than you think."

"Okay, um, okay. Thanks, Cohen. I'll see you tomorrow, right? At the dance thing?"

"I guess," he answered.

"Alright. Thanks," she said again before hanging up. She took a deep, deep breath. In, out. In, out. Ring Kirsten.

"Hi, Kirsten?" she said when someone picked up.

"Yes, who's this?"

"It's – it's Summer – Summer Roberts – from the –"

"Summer, I know who you are."

"Right. I got your number off Seth," she kept her voice steady. "I was just wondering if you could tell Lydia I've gone home. I – I feel sick."

"Sure, honey," said Kirsten. "And if you need to talk, you can _always_ come to me. Okay?"

"Um, sure. Uh, thank you. I'll see you later," Summer shook her head.

"Bye sweetie." Kirsten hung up and so did Summer, confused. What was it with the Cohen family? Why did they care about her? So she did have someone. She wondered what would happen if she and Seth got together. She decided that it wouldn't be too bad, as weird as the idea originally was it was starting to grow on her.

But there were so many complications. If only they could fly off to their own little place and be together, easily, where everything felt right with no complications. Nothing was right here any more. She threw herself down onto her bed and let the loud tears flow down. She lay there, shaking, with her face buried in her pillow, sobbing loudly, until she fell asleep.

_I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be_

_If you'll be my baby_

_I've got a ticket for a world where we will belong_

_So will you be my baby?_

_Yeahhh…_

To The Moon And Back - Savage Garden. Good lyrics.


	3. Let Me Show You Now

A/N: This is the last chapter. Ummm… So. The second chapter. Okay, I know Summer doesn't cry, like, often. It was just how I felt I could do it. I dont think this chapter's turned out right. It was sorta a let down to me...

To those of you who are reviewing... Man, you guys are awesome :) Its so weird to think that someone has read this and liked it a little :) So, thank you guys.

Disclaimer: That word is way too long. Anyway. Not mine. None of it. Except for the sucky storyline, I guess.

Chapter Three – Let Me Show You Now 

"So, Coop, how was the party last night?" Summer was sitting on Marissa's bed while Marissa was modelling potential outfits. It was late Saturday morning, the dance was that night.

"Honestly?" Marissa asked, and Summer nodded. "It was lame," Marissa decided. "Just the boring, same old-same old. And it wasn't one of Holly's best, either."

"When I talked to her, she sounded off her face," Summer bit her lip, "How much did she have?"

"I have no idea. She was snorting, Luke was drinking. They looked pretty happy," Marissa's voice trembled.

"Sit down, Coop," Summer said softly, patting the bedspread beside her. Marissa sat and Summer put an arm around her best friend. "You regretting you and Luke breaking up, sweetie?"

"It's not like I had much choice."

"Does he want you back?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll see tonight," Marissa grinned, and Summer folded her arms over her chest.

"What about Chino?"

"I don't know what's happening with Ryan," Marissa shrugged.

"Do you like him?"

"Yeah. A lot," Marissa admitted. "But Luke is like, safe, for me."

"Maybe not so safe," Summer said, thinking of Holly.

"Huh?"

"Nothing," Summer said quickly, "Hey, um, about last night… what do you think of Seth Cohen?"

"Why?" Marissa asked warily.

"Oh, nothing, I just… Well I ran away from Lydia'sthing and I got home and I broke down and I rang him to get Kirsten's number so I could get her to tell Lydia I was gone and then I started talking to him and he knew I was upset and he told me not to hurt myself – not that I was going to – coz he needed me." She spat out in one breath.

"Whoa. Okay," Marissa nodded.

"And I said I had no one, and he said I had him."

"You have me, Sum," said Marissa, sounding hurt.

"Well – I – I thought – I thought that with your parents, and Luke and Ryan – you didn't have time to care about me." Summer bit her lip and looked at her toes.

"Oh, Sum," Marissa said, wrapping her arms around the other girl. "I always have time for you. And I'll always care about you. I love you, honey."

"Yeah, I – I know, I love ya too Coop – it just seemed like everyone was against me last night."

"Everyone except Seth Cohen." Marissa let go of Summer.

Summer shrugged, "No? I don't know. What do you think I should wear tonight?"

The dance was colour coded – pink, red, and black. Not too original, but that didnt really matter.

"Well, pink makes you look sweet…" Marissa mused, "But red makes you look hot. Which one are you going for?"

Summer grinned, "Red. Definitely."

Summer went home about two hours later. She picked out a dress (red; the top was boobtube, but it had a little halter thing that you tied around your neck, with two silver hoops at the bottom, making it kind of look like a necklace. It certainly wasn't there to hold the dress up, because the top hem cut into Summer's chest it was that tight. The dress clung to her stomach and then ruffled out from the ass to three quarters down her thigh. It was a gorgeous dress and looked even better on her). She picked out a pair of silver spiral Donna Karen heels, a pair of silver hoop earrings, and a red Prada purse. She left her hair down but curled flowing waves all the way through it, and did her make up. She checked herself out in one of her mirrors. _Not too bad, _she thought, leaving for Coop's house.

Marissa was ready and standing at the end of her driveway, wearing a light pink Chanel dress, holding a silvery grey Dior custom clutch and running a hand nervously through her straightened hair. As soon as Summer pulled up (trying not to flick her eyes over and watch the Cohen house, and failing), Marissa jumped in and they drove to the country club, where Marissa had decided to have the dance.

The girls walked inside and saw it was already full of pink, red, and black. They walked around to find a table and bumped into Seth and Ryan, who were wearing matching suits (black jacket, black pants, white shirt, tie), except Seth's tie was red and Ryan's was black.

As soon as they saw each other, Marissa dragged Ryan off to talk, and Seth and Summer sat down. Summer put her hands, folded, onto the table between them, and cast her eyes downward. "I'm sorry about last night, and, you know, yesterday."

"What do you have to be sorry for?" He asked gently.

"I yelled at you for only looking at me, and I threatened you and called you a freak."

"It's not the first time, so don't worry about it."

She finally looked at him, with a sad and worried look in her eyes, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He looked away. He didn't want to fall into her eyes again.

"And then," she ploughed on, "I rang you at like late at night crying and I expected you to help me. Cohen… I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry!" he said, gently yet aggressively, looking at her. "I'm always going to help you, Summer. Always. Especially when you're upset."

"I thought I had no one," she said timidly.

"You have me," he repeated the same sentiment as the night before. "Always."

She smiled at him, "Thank you."

"Can I take this opportunity to see how you look, or is that forbidden?"

She smiled again, stood up, turned a circle and sat back down.

"You look… wow."

"Is that a good wow?"

"Every wow is a good wow with you, Summer," he grinned. "You look beautiful. I mean, you always look beautiful, but… more so."

She smiled genuinely, and blushed. Then she cleared her throat, "You look good, too, Cohen," she told him, and he grinned.

"Always do, right?"

"Yeah, keep dreaming," she smirked, then put on a look of fake-confusion, "But I though you were going to wear the pink tie? Or – a pink shirt? Oh, hell, why not go get a pink suit?"

"Uh, maybe because, I might just look gay," Seth laughed, and she smiled. "And if I were wearing a pink suit, you definitely wouldn't be sitting with me."

"Yeah, I would. I'd be the one taking pictures."

"Why _are_ you sitting with me?" he asked, his face serious. "Friends ditch you?"

"No," she said stiffly, "They're all over there." she waved her hand in their direction unimportantly, "I'm sitting with you because I like you."

He covered his mouth and said squeakily, "Oh, my God! I think I'm going to faint!" and slumped back in the booth for emphasis.

"Okay, that just was _not_ funny," she said, smiling, as he sat up.

He shrugged. "So… Like me as in how?"

"Well, we're friends, right?"

"Um… No," Seth said, confused. "I would have to say definitely not."

She looked thoughtful and puzzled, "Well… I guess I have no idea then."

"Then, how much do you like me?"

Summer shrugged. "I don't know. You and Coop are the only good people I have in my life – I like you… A lot, I guess. I don't know. I barely know you."

He nodded slowly, "Okayyy."

"Yeah," she said. "Um – do you like me?"

"Summer, I know just about everything about you. If I didn't like you, would I know everything?"

She smiled, "Know-it-all. I don't know. Would you?"

He looked down at his hands, "I've liked you forever."

Her eyes widened, "Like – like that? In that – that way? Why? I'm a bitch."

"No, you're not. Okay, you are. But – okay, this is gonna sound weird – the real, inner Summer, is a beautiful person. And she's the person I see every time I look at you. It's in your eyes, Summer."

"No one else can see her."

"Nope," Seth grinned. "I like to think I'm special."

"Keep dreaming," she said, then reconsidered. "But maybe – maybe you kind of are." The song playing ended. "You want to dance?"

"With you? Here? But – your friends –"

"What friends?" she asked bitterly. "Please?"

"Good lord. Yeah, uh, sure." He looked at her suspiciously, then stood up. So did she, and led him out into a sea of dancing couples. She put her arms up under his arms and held his back, and he put his arms around her. Back At One by Brian McKnight started playing.

Seth heard the opening music and immediately recognised it, as did Summer. He looked at her and she lifted her head to look at him. He pulled her closer, so that they were hugging but swaying to give off the illusion that they were dancing.

_It's undeniable that we should be together_

_It's unbelievable, how I used to say that I'd fall never_

"Sum," Seth said quietly, "I don't know how you feel about me so I don't wanna scare you off and I know it's fast but this song… Its how I feel… Like the lyrics… Just listen to them, okay?"

She raised her eyebrows and nodded.

_The basis is need to know, if you don't know just how I feel_

_Then let me show you now that I'm for real_

_If all the things in time, time will reveal_

Summer looked up at Seth again, from under her eyelashes, as he murmured the chorus.

_One, you're like a dream come true_

_Two, just wanna be with you_

_Three, girl its plain to see_

_That you're the only one for me_

_And four, repeat steps one through three_

_Five, make you fall in love with me_

_If ever I believe my work is done_

_Then I'll start back at one_

She smiled at him hesitantly,"I sort of get it," she murmured.

He leant down a little, and leaned his head down so his forehead was on her hairline. "Listen to this verse."

_It's so incredible, the way things work themselves out_

_And all emotional, once you know what it's all about_

_And undesirable, for us to be apart_

_I never would have made it very far_

_Cause you know you got the keys to my heart…_

She raised her head so that their faces were millimetres apart, and this time she sung the chorus to him.

_One, you're like a dream come true_

_Two, just wanna be with you_

_Three, coz its plain to see_

_That you're the only one for me_

_And four, repeat steps one through three_

_Five, make you fall in love with me_

_If ever I believe my work is done_

_Then I'll start back at one_

And finally, their lips basically touching anyway, he kissed her. It was the most amazing kiss she'd ever had, and as it lasted through the next verse, though her head was exploding with _feelings_, she listened as well.

_Say farewell to the dark of night, I see the coming of the sun_

_I feel like a little child, who's life has just begun_

_You came and breathed new life into this lonely heart of mine_

_You threw out the lifeline_

_Just in the nick of time_

As the chorus started again, she pulled away, smiling, grabbed his hand and led him out to a balcony. They passed her 'friends', who were pointing and laughing, or staring in shock and disgust. Summer ignored them, still smiling happily.

As they got outside to the deserted balcony, the song finished. Summer closed the French doors behind them and leant on the edge of the sill. Seth did the same.

"Wow," he said finally. "This is crazy."

She finally turned to him, "You said you didn't know how I feel. Well… Steps one to three should explain it." She paused, and the first part of the chorus filtered through his mind, then she continued, edging closer to him, "Cohen, I – I love you. I don't know how or even why and I know its fast but you – you make me, me. That's how I feel."

He stared at her, speechless, then pulled her body to his, "I love you too, Summer. I always have."

She kissed him, and this time, neither of them pulled away. The chorus of Back At One echoed through each of their brains, although the song had long finished inside, as they kissed, completely lost in each other.

_One, you're like a dream come true_

_Two, just wanna be with you_

_Three, girl its plain to see_

_That you're the only one for me_

_And four, repeat steps one through three_

_Five, make you fall in love with me_

_If ever I believe my work is done_

_Then I'll start back at one…_

Back At One - Brian McKnight

A/N: Ugh. The cheesiness.

Okay, that's it. I was gonna put more at the end of that chapter, but decided not to. I really dont like this chapter... But I dont have the heart to re-do it. Also, I know it seems pretty unrealistic, and it happens pretty fast, but I guess I'm trying to show how Summer has no one she can really trust or whatever but with him, she almost immediately feels she can trust him? I don't know.

Please, please review and tell me how you felt about it. If you hate it, or like it, or have any ideas for me tell me. Thanks… And again thanks for the other reviews...

Oh, also - sorry that there isn't really any drama or anything and it's sort of rushed. It's just all… Yeah. I don't know. This fic was like a little fantasy thing that played out in my head when I was listening to Strange And Beautiful, then the other songs came to me, so, yeah. Sorry. Love to all. . .Adios :) xxxx


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